10 New Year’s resolutions I didn’t make

The Ghost of New Year's Resolutions Past

The beginning of the new year is a perfect time to think about changing your life for the better. I prefer to set a simple goal or two (previously, each New Year has heralded a resolve to find a new job before its end, for example), but I am no stranger to attempts to make sweeping changes to my life. Here are 10 I didn’t make this Jan. 1:

  • Take up running (again).
  • Write the Great American Novel, or its lesser-known cousin, the Passable Indianan-turned-Californian-and-aspiring-future-Seattleite Novel.
  • Capture each food memory on Instagram. Every. Last. One.
  • Quit doing nangs.
  • Toilet-train the cats, or at least Baroness. That one already loves the bathroom.
  • Live each day like it’s my last (LYLASBAWLM).
  • Win a donut-eating contest.
  • Win a bacon-eating contest.
  • Win a sneaker-eating contest.
  • Get a new couch (just kidding, I am totally doing this).